


It's Tough To Be A God

by soclosethatisafruit



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: (it's a fade to black type thing), Ashes and Tim get fake couples therapy by marius and none of them realize it, Implied Sexual Content, Marius is good at psychoanalysis and i will die on this hill, Other, he just doesnt know what a good coping mechanism is, he/she/fleur tim, i have no clue how the fuck to tag this, i just think neopronouns are neat :), they/fla ashes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soclosethatisafruit/pseuds/soclosethatisafruit
Summary: Sometimes, the consequences of ruling an entire planet with an iron fist (well no, Marius has the iron fist, with iron lungs) is that the press gets into your relationship, and you have to go to marriage counselling with your partner of millennia to a very badly dressed therapist who may or may not also be your partner of millennia in disguise.
Relationships: Ashes O'Reilly/Gunpowder Tim, Ashes O'Reilly/Gunpowder Tim/Marius von Raum
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	It's Tough To Be A God

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warnings:  
> Alcohol mention  
> Implied fade to black sexual content
> 
> The full set of Ashes' neopronouns are fla/flare/flame/flames/flameself, and Tim's are fleur/fleurs/fleurself
> 
> lmk if I missed any warnings!!

It was a pretty typical start to a visit to a planet where there might be a good story. After landing, taking stock of the place, they split up, some on their own, some in small groups. Ashes and Tim went off together, looking for a way to take over the place. And so they established themselves, Hades: Ruler of the Acheron, Lord of Darkness, and their beautiful wife Persephone, always draped over them, but never to be underestimated for her beauty, for all that challenged her were shown that even draped in jewels and delicate silk, fleur was a better marksman than the City had ever seen. And so centuries passed, and Ashes and Tim ruled the City with a firm hand. By now, they had lost track of most of the rest of their crew, they knew Jonny was off delivering them more souls in some of the lower levels, and Raph was going by the name of Athena, but they had no clue where Brian or Marius or the Toy Soldier had gone. 

But that wasn’t the important part at the moment. Ever since they had waltzed into the City like they owned the place, and then proceeded to make it so they did, in fact, own the place, there had been attempts to take them down. Most of them could be easily stopped by the little gift they had been given by the good doctor, but this was a significant enough one that they actually had to put some effort in. Nothing that would actually work, of course, but rumors were a quite pesky strategy. The Oracle gossip column had been reporting issues in their marriage, in an article titled (rather cleverly, Tim thought) “Problems in Hell? An insider look on the marriage of Hades and Persephone”

Normally they would simply kill whoever was responsible, but enough people had seen it that it would only fuel the rumors. (There would still be plenty of murder, of course, just after the issue was dealt with.) This took a slightly more… diplomatic strategy.

“Come on, Ashes, it’ll be fun, we can pretend to be rich idiots to fuck with this guy!” Tim was far more on board with the ‘marriage counselling’ strategy than Ashes, to say the least. She walked fleur fingers along their chair and pouted up at them. Puppy dog eyes are harder when what passes for eyes are metal abominations, but somehow Tim managed. They broke his gaze, sighing.

“Fine. One session, and if I’m right about it, we stop and come up with something else.” 

“Deal. Excellent doing business with you, Lord Hades.” Fleur smirked and stuck out her hand for a handshake. They rolled their eyes at her antics, but took her hand, not shaking it but pressing a kiss to the back of it.

The first thing they noticed about this ‘therapist’ character was their attire. They wore a navy blue skirt with a pattern of roses that went down to their ankles. (Tim noted mentally to ask where they got it.) On top of it they had a short black dress with capped sleeves, and over that was a polka dotted vest, and finally the outfit was completed with a plaid tie. They were also wearing white silk gloves that went past their elbows, and a monocle that kept falling off their eye. Ashes thought to themself distantly that the outfit looked like someone trying to imitate Ivy’s style, but so much worse. They wondered what Ivy was up to. This outfit was so Much that neither of them got a good idea of exactly what this person looked like. They sat down, cracked their knuckles, and introduced themself.   
“The name’s Aceso, he/him pronouns, and I’ll be your relationship counselor.” he introduced himself. Tim stuck out her hand.

“Persephone, she/fleur for now but it’s subject to change.” She smiled warmly at Aceso, shaking his hand and Definitely Not thinking about how soft his hands were. Ashes introduced themself next.

“Hades, Lord of Darkness. Don’t refer to me.” They did not offer a handshake, simply staring down Aceso’s offered hand until he pulled it back awkwardly, looking slightly uncomfortable. Tim rolled fleurs eyes at them. 

“Don’t mind flame, they’re just a little grumpy today. They/fla pronouns for my lovely spouse.” Fleur flashed her ‘charming wife of the terrifying Hades’ smile at Aceso, who quickly recovered from whatever had happened with Ashes. He cleared his throat.

“Anyways. To start off, are there any grievances with each other you would like to air?” Tim and Ashes gave each other a look that no one who hadn’t been living with them for millenia wouldn’t recognize. They had prepared quite a show for Aceso. They launched into a well rehearsed routine about what they thought petty rich person problems might be like. Tim bitched about a broken vase that “had cost her grandmother millions of credits, honestly Hades, have you any tact?”. Ashes complained about Tim picking up the wrong wine for their “very important banquet, really Persie, it’s like you don’t even care about my career!” Throughout the whole routine, Aceso was scribbling in his notebook, monocle long gone in his excitement to get all of this. This material would be great for his lecture! 

By the time they were done, slightly out of breath, Aceso had written nearly a page of notes. This was his favorite part. He clicked his pen a couple times, making sure they were finished, then started to speak. 

“Mx. Hades, shall we start with you? Why do you think you need to be so in control of everything all the time? It seems like someone very important to you broke your trust at a very young age, and you haven’t ever really given it out since. Is that why you agreed to this? Does keeping this position of absolute power you’ve put yourself in make you feel safer? Do you think that if you make yourself above everyone, they won’t be able to hurt you? Not every issue can be solved by pushing people away, you know. You can’t destroy that scared child who you were by becoming the person who hurt them.” By the end of Aseco’s spiel, Ashes was frozen in shock and rage, and Tim was absolutely losing it on their lap. 

“You got flame good - dear, don’t murder him, the press won’t like that, and look at how cute he is.” She winked at him. Aseco wasn’t worried, he’d gotten plenty of death threats before, and he was still here! Even if they did murder him, it wouldn’t stick anyways!

“Persephone next. You, on the other hand, try to keep your loved ones as close as possible. Did something happen to someone you love because you weren’t paying enough attention? Do you still blame yourself for that? You can’t keep going just for revenge. It’s not productive for you, and it doesn’t help them. It’s okay to let go of them. They won’t blame you for it. Exploding at anyone who hurts your loved ones isn’t the same thing as telling them you love them.” Aseco was on a roll by now. Persephone looked distraught, and muttered something that sounded like “Bertie… I’m sorry.” Hades wrapped flare arms around her, still shocked to their core. Funny, they reminded Aseco of some of his crewmates, even looked kind of like them too. But that didn’t matter right now. He was on a roll. 

“So when you put the two of you together, With Persephone trying to keep Hades as close as they can, and Hades trying to keep Persephone from getting too close, that’s where your conflict comes from. You’re both trying to protect each other, but you’re taking the opposite routes of doing so, so it clashes. Not even to mention both of your god complexes, but that’s true of every Olympian. And-” Hades cut him off, sounding, not choked up, they didn’t get choked up, but some of their rock solid composure was cracking around the edges. Persephone in their arms, on the other hand, seemed to be quietly sobbing into flare side, but quickly tried to get fleurself together. 

“I think that’s quite enough. Normally, I would have smote you and thrown you into the darkest corner of the Acheron by now, but Persephone here seems to have something of a soft spot for you, and I have to admit I’m not uninterested. Only with your consent, of course, but I’ve heard adding a third can be good for relationships. But you’re the doctor here.” 

That… wasn’t exactly what he expected, but hey, he wasn't complaining!

“In my very professional medical opinion, I think that’s in order, and I would certainly be willing to- ah- help you out.” They smirked down at him, having stood up, and Aseco realized suddenly just how much taller than him they were. Oh this would be fun!   
Persephone, now having gathered herself, also much taller than Aseco, especially in her heels, was wearing a matching smirk to Hades’. 

“Let’s hope whatever you have on under that skirt is less heinous than whatever the fuck the rest of this outfit is.” she laughed. Aseco flushed, saying nothing, but allowed them to lead him into their bedroom.

A few decades later, Ulysses was dead, the Acheron was burned to the ground, and the crew of the Starship Aurora was back home. Everyone was comparing stories of what they had been up to, who they’d killed, and everything else. Marius was regaling the crew with his psychoanalyses of the various Olympians, that he would have talked about in his lecture if it hadn’t been cancelled.

“And don’t even get me started on Hades and Persephone, their god complexes were ridiculous, and there was so much trauma to get into, I think that was my favorite ones to do.” Tim stopped short, frowning.

“You didn’t psychoanalyze me and Ashes ever?” He (it was back to he now) said, and Ashes nodded along.

“I think I would have remembered that.” Marius spluttered and stopped short.

“You two were Hades and Persephone? Since when?”

“Since about 50 years in, I don’t think we saw you the whole time, everyone else knew.” Ashes replied, frowning. “When the fuck did you get a chance to psychoanalyze us?” Marius squeaked.

“Remember when you hired a marriage counselor...?” He started slowly. 

The others all burst out laughing at the three looks of disbelief.   
“SHUT UP,” they all yelled in unison, then all started saying different things at once. The only thing that cut through the babble of 9 excited space pirates all yelling at once was Tim’s realization. 

“SO THAT’S WHY YOU KEPT THOSE FUCKING SILK GLOVES ON THE WHOLE TIME” he screamed, and the laughter started all over again. As glad as they were to be back, the three of them knew they would never live this down, and sure enough, Jonny continued to bring it up at least once a year for millenia.

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: Marius's fake city name is the Greek goddess of the healing process!!


End file.
